Towards the End

Ini bukan bisvit selimut.

Setiap tahun, sejak aku memulakan blog, pasti ada sesi refleksi tahunan.

Jadi jom mula.

2013. The year, a great year, the year that I changed a lot, still, need to improve.

Yup.

Kenapa?

I gained new knowledge in terms of calories/health/muscle building/fat loss. If you want to ask me how to reduce fat, I guess I have to do it myself first so that you know about it.

I gained new interest, of course the revival interest in sports - badminton, volleyball, futsal, football.

Of course, I started to read anything related to health - including search solutions/symptoms/causes of something on the internet - compare to before, I just go with the flow.

Well, one more thing, my results in exam last semester (Sem 3), was kinda good. Yup. I hope to improve a lot this semester. Insya Allah.

Then then then, we had our PBS (3 and 4) and we went to Ba'kelalan. If I have money, I would go there, of course with friends. I miss that place.

Well, rasanya itu saja. Maybe ada sedikit 'kekecohan' di situ, tapi I don't have the rights to justify that situation.

But the greatest thing I have ever did to change was losing weight. Yeah. That is my great success this year. I love it, and I hope to reduce more, and continue until.. I die - not losing weight, but to stay healthy.

It's hard to avoid temptation at late stage rather than early stage. I don't know. I began my weight loss in a good momentum, reducing calories and stop eating foods that bad for my health, but in the end, I lost the battle, still maintain the weight.

Well, I just show you the numbers.

Up until late/end of 2012, I gained three figures for the first time - 100/101 kg. I started at 31st December, and lost total 22kg after four months, and maintain until my sister's wedding (end of May 2013). During the holiday, I gained 2 kg (which I HOPE it was muscle mass weight) during the holiday until Ramdhan. After Ramadhan, I gained 3-5kg because I stopped all my workouts and I ate too much during the fasting month (stupid things to do).Yup. And the weight maintain until NOW. The moment I wrote this entry.

Of course, I depressed, lacked of sleep, I don't control myself. But I just need to change my lifestyle to another level - eating clean foods, reduce bad foods, focus on HIIT, enjoy my cardio, HI on my weight training.

Well, insya Allah, pray for me. Since I have 25 days before THE DAY. I need to boost things up.

Well, that's it. Since I have Dota 2, I enjoy watching the games rather than playing it. Entah kenapa. Macam tengok bola sepak, lebih rela tengok daripada join main, walaupun padang tu dekat saja dengan rumah.

I hope things will be back to normal, always remind yourself, pain is temporary. In a dark tunnel, there's a light at the end of it, unless it's a dead end.

Hujan itu rahmat Allah, pelangi itu keindahan dan kebesaranNya.

Hope you guys, especially you, you, you and you, will be alright, have a good time, and of course, happy always.

#Miss A, all the best for your SPP interview. May Allah bless you. :)

#Oh dear gamer friends, sorry to say. But I may already have lost my interest in BIG GAMING. Jadi kalau ada mood, aku minta jerr game tu, takde download dah.

Monolog

Ketika mesej masuk, begini bunyinya. Gua lupa tapi ingat sedikit kata-katanya. Dia kata dia terasa sungguh dengan apa gua taipkan di sini, dan minta gua jangan jauhkan diri.

Gua fikir balik. Seriously, kalau ada apa-apa gua taip di sini, gua tiada niat mahu singgung perasaan korang. Sekadar pendapat gua.

Gua baca balik mesej tu, dia minta supaya gua tidak jauhkan diri. Gua terfikir.

Ada salah faham ini, lantas gua jelaskan kepadanya.

Mungkin bagi yang kurang tahu perangai gua, tidak tahu gua macam mana. Ya, gua jenis kurang bersosial, gua lebih suka bersendiri. Kalau dulu, gua bersosial pun di luar rumah dengan jiran-jiran, main gitar. Lepas tu sekarang, ada laptop, gua bersosial kalau gua bosan saja.

Gua jenis bersendiri, sebab gua rasa lebih best untuk sendiri-sendiri layan hobi sendiri. Jadi...yalah. Jangan salah faham, gua tak jauhkan diri, hatta dengan orang yang dibenci orang pun, gua memang jadi diri gua yang tidak biasa dengan orang yang gua kurang rapat.

Sahabat gua dulu pernah tersalah sangka, kenapa gua menjauhkan diri daripada mereka, ketika sesi refleksi 2011 dulu. Gua explain yang gua jenis sendiri, tak ramai kawan. Kawan sekolah rendah, satu dua orang saja yang ingat. Sekolah menengah? Gua layan saja macam biasa, kalau ada apa-apa aktiviti seperti raya, dorang-dorang saja. Gua bersama family. Bukan apa, gua tak biasa dengan mereka, sebab gua evil dulu. Heh.

Sekarang di IPG, alhamdulillah. Boleh membiasakan diri di sini, dengan roomate, dengan schoolmate, dengan senior, dengan junior, dengan lelaki, dengan perempuan, dengan pensyarah, tapi bergantung juga. Dengan erti kata lain, low profile.

Kalau dulu, gua cuba jadi nice, tapi awkward, gua rasa down. Sekarang, no down-down. Gua rasa sebab gua terpengaruh dengan Running Man. Heh.

Memang, gua suka bersendiri. Sebab keliling gua, banyak acara kutuk-mengutuk, dan gua juga tidak terlepas dari benda ni. Cuma, gua banyak diam.

Walaupun disebut dalam nada gurauan, tapi gua memang akan diam saja. Ketawa sajalah. Pernah gua tegur, tapi kena bantai semula. Tidak apalah. Biarlah.

Apapun, terima kasihlah kerana sudi memberi teguran dan nasihat, kepada mereka yang rajin membaca blog gua ini. Gua tak kisah kena tegur, serius. Kalau ada salah, tegur saja. Sebab gua jenis berlapang dada.

Dah terbiasa kot, dulu memang memanas kalau ditegur, tapi sekarang tidak dah. Insya Allah.

Dan biarlah, gua berehat. Sebab sekarang gua cuba menjadi neutral. Entahlah. Kalaulah boleh, gua mahu rasa ukhwah yang sebenar, without any hatred.